INT. HOWARD & ANNIE'S LIVING ROOM - DAY
A CHAOTIC RIOT
OF DROP CLOTHS, BURGER KING WRAPPERS AND
SCHATZI, THE FAMILY DOG, SITS PANTING IN THE CORNER.
A BOX OF THICK COATS, SNOW BOOTS AND GLOVES.
Why did we bring all this stuff?
They do have winter in
Sure! Remember the winter we came
out to visit Aunt Ida? It was a
"freezing" sixty-seven degrees, it
rained for seven minutes, then
everybody panicked about wet
freeways and called in sick to
Joey, out from under there and get
(from under a box)
I don't like it here. I'm going
back to Michigan.
Ok. We'll drive you to the airport.
HE CLIMBS OUT FROM UNDER THE BOX, PATS THE DOG.
We going home, girl? Yes.
Oh, no. Schatzi stays here. She's a
California dog now, aren't you
SCHATZI, PANTING FURIOUSLY.
Look at her. Animals always know
when something bad's gonna happen.
HIS EYES WEARILY, LEANS BACK AGAINST THE WALL.
INT. HALLWAY - DAY
JOEY KICKS THE
WALL HARD. THE HOUSE VIBRATES.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY
HOWARD AND ANNIE LOOK UP, STARTLED.
What was that?
JOEY RUNS IN AND DIVES BEHIND THE COUCH.
Joey, now stop it! Go in and fix
HE STOMPS OFF TO HIS ROOM. ANNIE CONTINUES TO UNPACK.
A VERY LOUD KNOCK AT THE DOOR.
Joey! I said stop it!!
Somebody's at the door.
HE OPENS THE
DOOR ON PATRICE.
Oh, hi! My name's Patrice from 12B?
I'm supposed to tell you that "we
know you're busy unpacking but when
you're able to take a break you're
invited to come over for soup and
sandwiches." Some of the other
neighbors are coming too.
JOEY POKES HIS HEAD IN.
What kind of soup?
JOEY SCREWS UP HIS FACE.
That's our rude son, Joey and I'm
Pleased to meet you.
Shall we bring anything?
Just yourselves --
(referring to JOEY)
-- but you could leave him home.
JOEY STICKS OUT HIS TONGUE AT HER.
Thank your folks for inviting us.
Personally, I think they're just
brown-nosing the new landlord.
Well, see you later.
AND HE CLOSES THE DOOR.
OUT A PAIR OF EARMUFFS AND CLAPS THEM OVER HIS
THINK HE'D LIKE THAT.
Well, that's awfully nice of them.
We don't have to go, do we?
They're our new neighbors, Howard.
They're also our tenants. They'll
probably demand things.
I don't know. New wallpaper,
garbage disposals, hot tubs --
OFF THE EARMUFFS AND LOBS THEM INTO A PILE OF
Well, gang, here we are in the
HE STANDS MELODRAMATICALLY
ON A BOX.
shovel snow again!
OK, Scarlett. But you are going
to eat gazpacho. Time to get
END ACT ONE